In The Middle of October

This month really bring me upside down.. =D
sometimes i feel like really dont know what to do, but since my cousin -cc Audy- stay with me, there is no time for me to think anything else than how to spend my whole day with her..

Trims God, u never let me being so alone, even if i'm alone there was always something/ someone that accompany me.. :)
U do keep Your promise not to let me down..

A few days ago i still here sat in front of my laptop and hear a music that depend on my situation..i was so curious why did he left without any reason and suddenly appear even just for a minute, but thinking of him really bothering me, coz by thinking of it, i suddenly feel so mellow and don't know why it ends so quick and without any words left or anything.. i wis that he was by bestman-bestfriend- that i could help.. But then i realize God, u make me meet with him, maybe u have another plan with me..
i used to read a statement like "some people may stay and leave our life but they're all have meaning" and "Be thankful that for once in your life, someone made you happy & added colours into your life, even if it's just for a while."

Trims God for making me knew this guy..and spending time, sharing moments and knowledge,though there were so many things that already pending..but the last i still thought that he may be one of my best to..May you bless him with whatever he do and may him always have a reason to smile when the world make him down.. :)

and now..i was just sit here keep listening to music about me now..sang by Katy Perry with tittle "Thinking of you"..

see you when i see u.. :)

spend 3 minutes to read..

Alkisah ada dua orang anak laki-laki, Bob dan Bib, yang sedang melewati lembah permen lolipop.  Di tengah lembah itu terdapat jalan setapak yang beraspal. Di jalan itulah Bob dan Bib berjalan kaki bersama.  Uniknya, dikiri-kanan jalan lembah itu terdapat banyak permen lollipop yang berwarni-warni dengan aneka rasa.  Permen-permen yang terlihat seperti berbaris itu seakan menunggu tangan-tangan kecil Bob dan Bib untuk mengambil dan menikmati kelezatan mereka.  Bob sangat kegirangan melihat banyaknya permen lolipop yang bias diambil. Maka ia pun sibuk mengumpulkan permen-permen tersebut.  Ia mempercepat jalannya supaya bisa mengambil permen lolipop lainnya Yang terlihat sangat banyak didepannya.

Bob mengumpulkan sangat banyak permen lolipop yang ia simpan di dalam tas karungnya.  Ia sibuk mengumpulkan permen-permen tersebut tapi sepertinya permen-permen tersebut tidak pernah habis, maka ia memacu langkahnya supaya bisa mengambil semua permen yang dilihatnya.  Tanpa terasa Bob sampai di ujung jalan lembah permen lolipop. Dia melihat gerbang bertuliskan "Selamat Jalan".  Itulah batas akhir lembah permen lolipop.  Di ujung jalan, Bob bertemu seorang lelaki penduduk sekitar. 

Lelaki itu bertanya kepada Bob, "Bagaimana perjalanan kamu di lembah permen lolipop?  Apakah permen-permennya lezat? Apakah kamu mencoba yang rasa jeruk? Itu rasa yang paling disenangi. Atau kamu lebih menyukai rasa mangga? Itu juga sangat lezat."  Bob terdiam mendengar pertanyaan lelaki tadi.  Ia merasa sangat lelah dan kehilangan tenaga.  Ia telah berjalan sangat cepat dan membawa begitu banyak permen lolipop yang terasa berat di dalam tas karungnya.  Tapi ada satu hal yang membuatnya merasa terkejut dan ia pun menjawab pertanyaan lelaki itu, "Saya lupa makan permennya!" 


Tak berapa lama kemudian, Bib sampai di ujung jalan lembah permen lolipop. "Hai, Bob! Kamu berjalan cepat sekali. Saya memanggil-manggil kamu tapi kamu sudah sangat jauh di depan saya."  "Kenapa kamu memanggil saya?" tanya Bob.  "Sayaingin mengajak kamu duduk dan makan permen anggur bersama. Rasanya lezat sekali.  Juga saya menikmati pemandangan lembah, indah sekali!" Bib bercerita panjang lebar kepada Bob.  "Lalu tadi ada seorang kakek tua yang sangat kelelahan.  Saya temani dia berjalan. Saya beri dia beberapa permen yang ada ditas saya.  Kami makan bersama dan dia banyak menceritakan hal-hal yang lucu. Kami tertawa bersama." Bib menambahkan. 

Mendengar cerita Bib, Bob menyadari betapa banyak hal yang telah ia lewatkan dari lembah permen lolipop yang sangat indah.  Ia terlalu sibuk mengumpulkan permen-permen itu.  Tapi pun ia sampai lupa memakannya dan tidak punya waktu untuk Menikmati kelezatannya karena ia begitu sibuk memasukkan semua permen itu ke dalam tas karungnya.  Di akhir perjalanannya di lembah permen lolipop, Bob menyadari suatu hal dan ia bergumam kepada dirinya sendiri, "Perjalanan ini bukan tentang berapa banyak permen yang telah saya kumpulkan.  Tapi tentang bagaimana saya menikmatinya dengan berbagi dan berbahagia." Ia pun berkata dalam hati, "Waktu tidak bisa diputar kembali."  Perjalanan di lembah lolipop sudah berlalu dan Bob pun harus melanjutkan kembali perjalanannya. 

Dalam kehidupan kita, banyak hal yang ternyata kita lewati begitu saja. Kita lupauntuk berhenti sejenak dan menikmati kebahagiaan hidup.  Kita menjadi Bob di lembah permen lolipop yang sibuk mengumpulkan permen tapi lupa untuk menikmatinya dan menjadi bahagia.  Pernahkan Anda bertanya kapan waktunya untuk merasakan bahagia?  Jika saya tanyakan pertanyaan tersebut kepada para klien saya, biasanyamereka menjawab, "Saya akan bahagia nanti...  nanti pada waktu saya sudah menikah... nanti pada waktu saya memiliki rumah sendiri... nanti pada saat suami saya lebih mencintai saya... nanti pada saat saya telah meraih semua impian saya... nanti pada saat penghasilan sudah sangat besar... " 

Pemikiran 'nanti' itu membuat kita bekerja sangat keras di saat sekarang'. Semuanya itu supaya kita bisa mencapai apa yang kita konsepkan tentang masa 'nanti' bahagia.  Terkadang jika saya renungkan hal tersebut, ternyata kita telah mengorbankan begitu banyak hal dalam hidup ini untuk masa 'nanti' bahagia.  Ritme kehidupan kita menjadi sangat cepat tapi rasanya tidak pernah sampai di masa 'nanti' bahagia itu.  Ritme hidup yang sangat cepat... target-target tinggi yang harus kita capai, yang anehnya kita sendirilah yang membuat semua target itu...  tetap semuanya itu tidak pernah terasa memuaskan dan membahagiakan. Uniknya, pada saat kita memelankan ritme kehidupan kita;  pada saat kita duduk menikmati keindahan pohon bonsai di beranda depan, pada saat kita mendengarkan cerita lucu anak-anak kita, pada saat makan malam bersama keluarga, pada saat kita duduk bermeditasi atau pada saat membagikan beras dalam acara bakti so
sial tanggap banjir;  terasa hidup menjadi lebih indah.

Jika saja kita mau memelankan ritme hidup kita dengan penuh kesadaran; memelankan ritme makan kita,  memelankan ritme jalan kita dan menyadari setiap gerak tubuh kita,  berhenti sejenak dan memperhatikan tawa indah anak-anak bahkan menyadari setiap hembusan nafas maka kita akan menyadari begitu banyak detil kehidupan yang begitu indah dan bisa disyukuri.  Kita akan merasakan ritme yang berbeda dari kehidupan yang ternyata jauh lebih damai dan tenang. 

Dan pada akhirnya akan membawa kita menjadi lebih bahagia dan bersyukur seperti Bib yang melewati perjalanannya di lembah permen lolipop.

Welcome September :D

Today is 1st September. Thanks God for August that brings so much story, bad/ good, for what happen that came i just want to thank you God.  Cause beacause all of that experience make me mature than before and i can't more know my self.

Maybe there's so much thing that just don't know how to handle and problems that i don't know how to solve. But with you by my side, i believe i can through it all with your blessings.

For now, i just listen to one song with title 'deeper in love' by Don Moen. And for now, i just want You to take me deeper in love with You, Jesus. I just wanna love you more and more..

May this month brings me more closer to You, deeper in love with You,

Tegami - Angela Aki

Letter: Dear fifteen year-old me
by Angela Aki

Dear person who is reading this letter,
Where are you now, and what are you doing?

I’m fifteen years old now,
and there is no one I can talk to about my growing fears.
In a letter to my future self, I can probably speak honestly.

It seems I’m about to lose, about to cry,
about to disappear…..
Whose advice can I listen to and keep walking?
More than once, how many times,
this heart has been broken.
Life is hard, and I take it one day at a time.

Dear fifteen year-old me,
Thank you for your letter.
I have something to tell you.
If you keep asking yourself, “Who am I?” and “Where should I go?”
the answers will come to you.

The stormy seas of youth are rough,
but a boat of dreams will lead you to the shore.

Don’t feel defeated, don’t cry.

When you’re feeling down,
you must believe in your own inner-voice and move on.

Your adult self is also hurt,
and there are sleepless nights,
but I’m living a bittersweet life, one day at a time.

There is meaning to everything in life,
so despite the fear, make your dreams come true.

Keep on believing, keep on believing, keep on believing…..
Whe it seems I’m about to lose, about to cry,
about to disappear…..

Whose advice can I listen to and keep walking?

Don’t feel defeated, don’t cry,
don’t be depressed.
Listen to your own inner-voice and move on.

Whatever our age, sadness can’t be avoided.
Put on a smile and keep on living,
keep on living.

Dear person who is reading this letter,
I wish you happiness.

this song was really have a great meaning. How can someone wrote a lyric just like this. Represent how 15 y/o young girl or boy to. When the time really force us to make some decision to our life, when feeling so down and no one there to share with us. we all would have been through this section.

How we learn to face this world and grow up like adults. its a long way journey, but the thruth is we can through that all with kindness from God that keep us in His way. So, don't forget to grateful for your time, your young time until now u've been a human that still learn to be a better person and for all that u've already have until now. GBU.. :)

Movie Review : Faith Like Potatoes

Maybe this is an old movie from 2006. But the story was so good for us to watch. And maybe it looks so boring while u watch this movie, but in the end we can learn how to have faith like potates.

For the first time i was wondering why they choose potatoes for example. Until i'm done watching i found the answer. Potatoes planted on the ground when u can never imagine if its grow or not until the harvest time come. And in this movie the farmers must face that their ground really dont match to plant this plant. But, they have their faith and when the harvest come, they started to pray before and dig it slowly. And for the result they have full of big potatoes harvest from their dry land.

And that's how God works. He will show us the way an be our guide to through His way. He works in way we can not see.

And if u have ur faith, Trust in God then imposibble will be just nothing.

And the soundtrack from this song was really touched, with titled 'A New Day' by
Joe Niemand.

Be patient, dear

This story supposed released yesterday. But i dont have any chance to take over this computer because when i was at home, my brother take control of this computer. Because the only access to get internet is from here.. :p

So, this is another story from my besties when she felt like everyone especially her friends, college friends i think but i just dont know, who can make her felt like that. Dont know how to act again and she feel so terrified and start to chat with me..

So sad that i can't be there to accompany her when she need a shoulder to cry on, just can accompany her by texting and keep courage that everything happen for a reason and dont blame her self for all the bad things come in her live. 

Maybe this world just to cruel to her, but i know that someday she will be a great woman that have a humble heart to face this world, and she will find if God never give her problem or anything that beyond her strength.

Dear God, please let her feel u are arround and always keep an eyes on her. Promise me you won't let something bad happen to her. And help her to through her rough day. Cause i know that u will sent her sunshine after the rain and also some one that really gonna be there for her, i mean her soulmate. Give heart a heart just like yours, be patient through all people who ignore her and even said worse thing about her, when he/she dont even better than her. Be patient dear, He will show give u the way, where there seems to be no way.. :)

Like Sister Like Brother

20 August 2011 @ 1.11 PM

Today is all about my boy, my littke brother that i mean. He is 5 years old younger than me. And now he is in the Senior High School and live at home with our parents, while i live here near of my college.

We met arround once in a week, but it doesn't mean we're far away and dont have any comunication. When we meet we can share some silly things that makes us laughing all day long. For example when i was showing him my friends video on facebook. We laughing that time because it really funny video of one of my friend.

Not only that time, when i was home, i'll try to cook something for him to eat. Something like dessert, something to drink and prepare meal for his breakfast, lunch and dinner because i know i dont have so much time in home beacuse when it comes monday, it means i have to heading back to college for a week again.

My mom always told me, that i am not a good sister. And i dont deny it. Maybe sometimes i don't know how hard that he through his day. but i know that as time goes by, he'll find his own way to face this world. Because i know one day he'll become a great man with humble heart that bow down to God.

Dear God, i know that i can't be a perfect sister or at least a sister who have to be beside him every single day. But i know, u'll always keep your eyes on him and give him what he need. Just let him live his life to the fullest when he is young. I know that he can do better than me. And hope him always remember of You, the one who keep him always stay in the right way. Please don't let nothing bad come to him again.
And give him a humble heart just to worship You, God. I think that i am blessed by having brother like him. Even he can make me sad sometimes, but i just know it's his way to learn this life. But i'm proud of being his sister. :)

Power Of Mind

And now i just found another note that i wrote by myself for task from my lecture and i post it in my college blog. http://angsha.blog.binusian.org/

Otak tiap manusia terbagi menjadi dua, antara pikiran dan perasaan. pernahkah anda menyadari bahwa sebagian besar pikiran mendominasi otak manusia, sedangkan perasaan hanya dipakai pada saat tertentu saja (iba/empati/kasihan). Hal ini membuat saya terus berpikir bahwa kita sebagai manusia dapat menciptakan dunia yang aman dan damai kalau kita sebagai manusia dapat menguasai pikiran kita atau yang bisa di sebut sebagai The Power of Mind.

Ada banyak hal yang dapat ditanamkan dalam pikiran kita, mulai dari hal yang positif, bersifat membangun, sampai hal yang negatif. Semua itu tergantung bagaimana anda mengelola pikiran anda sendiri. Bagaiman cara mengelolanya? Tentu saya tidak dapat membantu anda secara langsung, akan tetapi, saya akan membantu membagikan bagaimana pengalaman saya dalam mengatur pikiran supaya daoat menciptakan suasana yang di inginkan.

Pertama, dimulai saat bangun pagi, terapkanlah 1 kata dalam pikiran anada yaitu bersyukur. Kata ini mengandung banyak hal yang dapat diungkapkan, diantara nya, bersyukur karena masih bisa bangun pagi / tidur seperti biasa tanpa kekurangan apapun, kedua bersyukur karena seberat apapun masalah yang sedang dihadapi, Tuhan masih memberikan hari esok sebagai permulaan yang baru, serta bersyukur atas setiap waktu yang telah disediakan selama 24 jam untuk menjalani hari ini dengan lebih baik dari sebelumnya.

Dengan menerapkan pikiran tersebut di pagi hari akan membuat anda merasa lega/ tenang karena akan memulai hari yang baru lagi dengan semangat yang baru, sekalipun sedang ada dalam masalah, bersyukurlah karena masalah diberikan untuk membantu kita menjadi bertumbuh menjadi lebih dewasa dan bertanggung jawab.

Hal kedua yang akan saya terapkan dalam pikiran saya adalah kalimat berikut, “Just Do the Best To make Everything seems perfect”. Kalimat ini tercipta ketika saya sedang memiliki waktu sendiri untuk mencari kalimat yang melambangkan hidupku dan akhirnya terangkailah kalimat tersebut. Karena tak ada seorang pun yang dapat membuat atau menjadi sempurna 100% tanpa ada kekurangan apapun. Karena saya menyadari hal tersebut, maka saya menerapkan dalam pikiran saya bahwa apapun yang terjadi hari ini, maka saya akan melakukan yang terbaik karena saya tak ingin membuang waktu yang berharga dengan sia-sia.

Hal terakhir yang saya terapkan dalam pikiran saya ialah, Tuhan selalu ada disaat saya membutuhkanNya. Mengapa demikian? Karena saya yakin dan percaya bahwa Tuhan tidak akan membiarkan umatNya sendiri dalam menghadapui masalah apapun. Dan selalu ada rencana yang indah di balik setiap musibah.

Kesimpulannya, Just Do The Best, To Make Everything Seems Perfect. No matter what the problem is, just stay calm..

Because She is My Sister

19 August 2011 @ 12.18 AM

I just watched some video that remind me of my sister, not real sister, but i'd like to feel like she is my own sister. Because for about 2 years, she was always spend time with me with teach me how lo survive in college, listen to her story and she listen to mine..

I remember there was a time that we two sit together and share about family story and we begin to cry each other, because we have our problem in our family and in this case we are the same, oldest sister in our family, that have so much responsibility to take control of our family after mommy and daddy.

Not just sad story, we also spend time just to laughing each other with her younger sister and brother in their room, telling about their story when they were a child.

And For about 3 months later she will gonna be a pricess for a day and after that begin her new life with her prince. It was so quick. Make me sad a little, knowing that she will no longer have some free time to us, me and the other.

But i'm glad that she made it, be an oldest sister in her family, working hard for herself and her family, help her younger sister and brother through all problem that they might have.

And i'm glad that God let me know this person and be her family even it is not for real. But she always give me some advise that make me feel so calm and how to be a woman, and also already share a lot of things together.

Dear God, please let this person always blessed with unlimited joy, happiness, health, and prosperity. Never let her sad or feeling pain. Even if she has to feel it, just don't let it to long, give her the sunsine after the rain. Because i'll get happy to when i can see her can smile everyday, that's because she is my sister. And her name was Octa, Octa Vianty.. :)

Last December

and this one was written by me one day before my birthday.. :D

Saturday 4 December 2010 th, tomorrow will be my birthday that means I am no longer 19th and have to say "welcome to 20th fans club"…

This night will be my last night for being 19

 th has so much mean to me..

Being 20

 I’ll try my best just to make everything seems perfect..

It means that I’m older now and I have to decide everything even its good or no for my life..

And I also have to change my mind, from childish to be more mature than before. Maybe for now I don’t have a vision what will be my destiny, but

 th..it’s my time to get older and my time to show up to other people that I’m not as same as I do before..

I already thought a lot of think since the day before.. I just don’t believe that exactly I’m being 20

Last November

November 15, 2010 @ 11.47 AM

Fell like no home..

No one can even be with me when I need a shoulder to hold on..

But then I know..

That God always beside me, whenever I need Him..

At least I have someone to tell my story, to share my experience today and to share what I feel of something or someone…

Never be in this sad-so sad also painfull- I think..

Maybe its just a word, but it reallycan cut off myheart..

Maybe they just don’t know how it feels..

But I rather been hit than say some word that will always inside my memories..

Need go back to home..

Some people say home is the best place for do anything, but now it seems so different to me..

And I wanna have one of that dream home..

So when I go back, I can just lay down and forget all the problem that I have that time..

God, please give me a heart as pure as yours that can be patient to keep all of this painfull..

Really don’t want to cry anymore,,

When my tears drown, I just..suddenly remember all the bad, sad and all the things that make me uncomfortable.. ><

Really sick of being this situation, I wanna be strong,,

I know that so many people out there care of me, but they also have their own problem, so I think I cant keep tell my story to them, cos maybe they all so bored and even mad when listen to all my story that really childish..

I used to do some things when I cry all alone..i’ll run in front of mirror and try to smile eventough its really hard..but I try my best until my tears wont come down anymore..maybe its funny, but its affected to me..coz when I see my own smile, it shows me that I’ll have to be stronger…and also I put my head to look up so my tears can’t drown..also try to make a big, big, really big smile… :’)

But at least, I wanna thanks God that never let me go alone, coz there’s so many times that I think, im useless to live, always have so many people mad at me and being sick of my situation, also maybe because of my attitude that still childish, but then I remember U, God…I know that I can’t see ur face and listen to ur voice..but I believe u keep ur eyes in me…and im glad for that..

Im really not a kind person..im really disappointed to myself and don’t know how to make it better anymore..im full of painfull right now..and I know that I cant be this way for all the rest of time..but maybe I need some time to cry it out loud..so I can push it all away from myheart, don’t want to have all bad memories, sad situation and another..

Im just a human being that can’t be perfect, but I’ll try my best by learn from u..from now on I wanna be just an ordinary people that just as simple as u was..

Thanks God,..whenever I have a bad / negative thinking u’ll always there watching me and make my way right so I can through it all..

I'm Not A Girl Not Yet A Woman

18 August 2011 @ 9.08 PM

I'm not a girl not yet a woman

-Britney Spears-

I used to think
I had the answers to everything,
but now I know
life doesn't always go my way, yeah.
Feels like I'm caught in the middle,
that's when I realize...

I'm not a girl,
not yet a woman,
all I need is time,
a moment that is mine,
while I'm in between.

I'm not a girl,
there is no need to protect me,
it's time that I
learn to face up to this on my own.
I've seen so much more than you know now,
so don't tell me to shut my eyes.

I'm not a girl,
not yet a woman,
all I need is time,
a moment that is mine,
while I'm in between.

I'm not a girl,
but if you look at me closely
you will see it my eyes,
this girl will always find her way.

I'm not a girl,
(I'm not a girl, don't tell me what to believe.)
not yet a woman,
(I'm just trying to find the woman in me, yeah.)
all I need is time (All I need is time),
a moment that is mine (That is mine),
while I'm in between.

I'm not a girl,
not yet a woman.

This song represent how i feel now..
i'm not a girl not yet a woman,
I used to think i had the answer of everything..But in fact life doesn't always go my way and in the right way. Sometimes we-as a girl-need time to choose, think, about our life, future, and etc..

And i think the boys have this time too, that they aren't boys not yet a man..how to change the mindset from the childish to mature. Because of this we have to open our mind and let the positive thing come to us, from our friends, bestfriends, family and all people arround us.

yaa..this is what we called live..we are human and our destination are to survive in this life. For me, live with no regret, feel grateful for every morning because God was beside me and watch every step that i take.

If in case i was fall into wrong way, i believe that God will bring me the right path to me. And i believe God never give us something that beyond our strength. GBU

Experience Of Being wedding Organizer

Last Sunday on 14 August 2011, i have one experience of being wedding organizer in a real wedding, real bride and groom ant the other..

The rundown makes me and my partner has to awake @ 3PM and standby at meeting point @ 4PM. Really unexpected I can get up that early to be awakened by someone right before my alarm rang..

After getting ready, then we went to a meeting place and went to the bridal where the bride will be dressing up. There were sooo much, many, a lot of mosquito come to welcome us.. "--

Events take place beginning with the pick-up by the bride and groom to the church where they will enter into a covenant before the Lord. While we were at church my feet started get tired..hahhaa..Such a shame i can't stand up like normally with sickness on my feet..Lol..

Event continues at 7 pm, with the number of guests who keep coming flowing, me and my teammates worked hard to keep in touch with each other using the HT transform and make sure the event went well. Due to that we employed.

Guests lined up to shake hands with the bride and groom, play songs, create effects such as balloons, confetti, counting the number of guests and understand the purposes of the bride and family.

There was exciting event because of the many guests who lined up to shake hands with the brideand groom. Until 10 pm the event is finished and closed. So too with my job and friends. I end up with legs that felt so sore, but this week is a week that will not be forgotten ...

So, Thanks God u give me such a great experience and meet some new people in this team. God Bless Us.

Ajari Aku Memeluk Landak

I found some story that i save from some web and this one represent me sometimes. How can someone suppressed by their childish fear. From this story we can learn how to behave to our children, because it will affect their whole life..

Ajari Aku Memeluk Landak

Yulia menunggu dengan antusias.
Kaki kecilnya bolak-balik melangkah dari ruang tamu ke pintu depan.
Diliriknya jalan raya depan rumah.

Belum ada.

Yulia masuk lagi. Keluar lagi. Belum ada. Masuk lagi. Keluar lagi.

Begitu terus selama hampir satu jam. Suara si Mbok yang menyuruhnya berulang kali
untuk makan duluan, tidak dia gubris.

Pukul 18.30. Tinnn... Tiiiinnnnn.. .!! Yulia kecil melompat girang!

Mama pulang! Papa pulang! Dilihatnya dua orang yang sangat dia cintai itu masuk ke rumah.

Yang satu langsung menuju ke kamar mandi. Yang satu mengempaskan diri di sofa sambil
mengurut-urut kepala. Wajah-wajah yang letih sehabis bekerja seharian,
 mencari nafkah bagi keluarga. Bagi si kecil Yulia juga, yang tentunya belum mengerti banyak.
Di otaknya yang kecil,

Yulia cuma tahu, ia kangen Mama dan Papa, dan ia girang Mama dan Papa pulang.

"Mama, mama.... Mama, mama...." Yulia menggerak-gerakkan tangan.

"Mama...." Mama diam saja. Dengan cemas Yulia bertanya, "Mama sakit ya? Mana yang sakit?
Mam, mana yang sakit?"

Mama tidak menjawab. Hanya mengernyitkan alis sambil memejamkan mata.

Yulia makin gencar bertanya, "Mama, mama... mana yang sakit? Yulia ambilin obat ya? Ya? Ya?"

Tiba-tiba...
"Yulia!! Kepala mama lagi pusing! Kamu jangan berisik!" Mama membentak dengan suara tinggi.

Kaget...!! Yulia mundur perlahan. Matanya menyipit. Kaki kecilnya gemetar. Bingung.

Yulia salah apa? Yulia sayang Mama... Yulia salah apa? Takut-takut, Yulia menyingkir ke
sudut ruangan. Mengamati Mama dari jauh, yang kembali mengurut-ngurut kepalanya. Otak kecil
Yulia terus bertanya-tanya: Mama, Yulia salah apa? Mama tidak suka dekat-dekat Yulia? Yulia
mengganggu Mama?Yulia tidak boleh sayang Mama, ya? Berbagai peristiwa sejenis terjadi.

Dan otak kecil Yulia merekam semuanya. Maka tahun-tahun berlalu. Yulia tidak lagi kecil.
Yulia bertambah tinggi. Yulia remaja. Yulia mulai beranjak menuju dewasa.

Tin.. Tiiinnn... ! Mama pulang. Papa pulang. Yulia menurunkan kaki dari meja. Mematikan TV.
Buru-buru naik ke atas, ke kamarnya, dan mengunci pintu. Menghilang dari pandangan.

"Yulia mana?"

"Sudah makan duluan, Tuan, Nyonya."

Malam itu mereka kembali hanya makan berdua. Dalam kesunyian berpikir dengan hati terluka:
Mengapa anakku sendiri, yang kubesarkan dengan susah payah, dengan kerja keras, nampaknya
tidak suka menghabiskan waktu bersama-sama denganku? Apa salahku? Apa dosaku?

Ah, anak jaman sekarang memang tidak tahu hormat sama orangtua!

Tidak seperti jaman dulu.

Di atas, Yulia mengamati dua orang yang paling dicintainya dalam diam. Dari jauh.
Dari tempat di mana ia tidak akan terluka. "Mama, Papa, katakan padaku,
bagaimana caranya memeluk seekor landak?"

Satu cara terpenting dalam membantu anak-anak tumbuh dewasa adalah: Kita harus tumbuh dewasa terlebih dahulu. GBU.

Me & the book

After spending about 2 hours arround the bookstore, i found so much thing..

When i come i found a book that write about all things that might be happen arround us. I was standing there, read and sometimes laughing, because it's funny.. Lol.

After that book, i saw another book and finally i take Conan and buy it. And then i went to stationary where i'd like to but something like clearholder but i can't found that fit to me.

And for about 2 hours i turn arround see one to another book, from management, magazine, novel, comic, dictionary, and etc..

But honestly God, please don't let me take a walk by myself again..at least sent me one..because i can be so weak suddenly. ><
GBU.

Have Quality Time with Myself

17 August 2011 @ 3.02 PM

It seems that i'm getting used with being alone,, I mean no one can accompany me..But i think its okay, and not be shame because i was alone..

Start with having breakfast, lunch and dinner by myself, playing game online, watching television and hang out by my self..for the first time i feel terrible because i can't find anybody who can accompany me..

But later i change my mind, that nothing wrong from being alone / by myself. I still can enjoy, but just in case, just enjoy it by my self..haha..

I have a boyfriend but he's far far away from me. Sometimes i feel that we're not getting so intense anymore because he is just send me message like a report about where he is and about what he is doing there. When i don't find him, then he don't find me to.. --"

What supposed i do ..

And just sometimes i do think that, can i just be a single today, tomorrow and the other day?

it is not because i'm not feeling grateful have someone special in my  life, but i am to afraid to realize that he's not care about me anymore..i know that we all have our free time but can't he spend his free time with calling me just to make sure that i am okay here..

And now i'm ready to go to Gramedia bookstore and spend time there, tour arround the bookstore until nite come and coming home again. So, today i am having quality time with my self.. :)
GBU.

Independence Day..

Happy Birthday Indonesia..

We are already been 66 years in a country full of abundant natural resources .. Hopefully this year, Indonesia could be further developed, could reduce the corruption that exists, and for the community to reduce the crime rate there. Because I was tired of that watching television is full of crime, murder, robbery and other ..

How beautiful this country if they can be freed ourselves of the shackles of the higher crime..

And let's increase the rights of every person to respect and enjoy the beauty and wealth that exist in this country. GBU.

My Immortals

17 August 2011 @ 11.12 AM

My Immortals

-Evanescence-

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have... all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me.. me.. me

Sometimes this song really represent my sadness. How did i suppressed by all my childish fears, how feel this pain that seems too real and  just too much that time cannot erase..But behind all my fears still wanna be grateful because of all this things can make me stronger..

" I'll do what it takes till i touch the sky, make a wish, take a chance, make a changes, and breakaway.. "

Break away - Kelly Clarkson

Let' Talk About Love

17 August 2011 @ 10.46 AM

 Let's Talk about Love

-David Archuleta-

Mhhm-mhhm

Sometimes I wondered what I'd be when I grew up
And then I remembered it was anything I dreamed of
I could be a poet or a singer, I can be a scientist
But before I make that decision, lets talk about my list

Let's talk about love, let's talk about peace
And living in perfect harmony
Let's talk about hugs, and talk about ways that we can share

Let's talk about you, let's talk about me
Let's talk about how we can be one big family
Let's talk about love, talk about love

Sometimes I feel like I want to give my friends a call
To tell them what I'm dreaming and everything I want
I want us to be a little closer
And to always reach out a hand
To be kind to one another
And always understand

It's all about love, it's all about peace
To living in perfect harmony
It's all about hugs, it's all about ways that we can share

It's all about you, it's all about me
It's all about how we can be one big family
It's all about love

Everybody has a heart
Everybody has a smile
Let's wrap a bow around each one
And give it away once in awhile

It's all about love, it's all about peace
To living in perfect harmony
It's all about hugs, it's all about ways that we can share

It's all about you, it's all about me
It's all about how we can be one big family
It's all about love

It's all about love, it's all about peace
To living in perfect harmony
It's all about hugs, it's all about ways that we can share

It's all about you, it's all about me
It's all about how we can be one big family

It's all about love

Lat's talk about love
Let's talk about love

Movie Review : Kungfu Panda 2

17 August 2011 @ 1.58 PM

i watched this movie with my bestman this night..And this movie very funny, not because i like animation but this story will entertain us so much..

How Po -the kungfu panda- can rescue china from shen - the enemy who killed Po's parents-, and how Po finally learn to find the way of inner peace so he can beat his enemy, and so on..so you guys have to watch this..and i give 8/10 to rate this movie..:p

From this movie we can learn that whatever it take on past it doesn't matter, the matter is it's now your story to choose who are you want to be..

okayy..i think its quite enough for this time, because its getting late and i wanna going to bed soon..

anyway, trims to wall-e for ur miniature. I do appreciate so much :bighug:

 

Live Your Live

16 August 2011 @ 5.46 PM

There are so many people feel so stress about job, study, and everything that comes in their life. but, guys..you gotta know something that this life is so short to be stress all day long. You have to wake up and do something precious in your live.

first, life is never flat..so don't worry if world make you feel small, just remember one thing, this all will flip into your happiness and joy after through this condition.

And remember one thing. We all have someone who always accompany us in what happen to us. He is our God. And he never give  problem beyond our strength.

when i am in sad or bad feelings, i started to play song that can raise me up.

here are some song list that maybe you can try to raise you up when you at your bad day or anything else that make you feel worst.

1. Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson

2. What Faith Can Do - Kutless

3. Perfect - Pink

4. Down to Earth - Justin Bieber

5. Trouble is A Friend - Lenka

6. Ost shaolin - andy Lau

7. Firework - Katy Perry

8. Raise Your Glass - Pink

9. Imagine - Glee Cast

10. Lean On Me - Glee Cast

11. Born To be Somebody - Justin Bieber

12. True Colors - Glee Cast

13. To Sir With Love - Glee Cast

14. I Have a Dream - Westlife

15. Loser Like Me - Glee Cast
16. Over The Rainbow - Glee Cast

gudluck with ur life. And remember dont do something that can put yourself in dangerous. If you do that, it means you are not strong enought to be in this world. Come on, we are the winner not the loser.

GBU.. :)

Sometimes

still at the same time in this evening with nothing to do just writing..

when i was at high school i wrote some poetry based on my condition at that time and i wrote it on a green notebook..

while i was at my room, i found it again and begin to read it. I was so small at that time being a teenager and full of love, hate and friends at that time.. :p

and now i wanna share one of poetry in that G'note (GreenNotebook)..

Sometimes

Sometimes we don’t know what did we do

Sometimes we don’t know what happen around us

Sometimes feel lonely

Sometimes feel crazy

Like what I feel now

Sometimes friends know about me

But, sometimes not..

But love is not sometimes

Love is always and forever

If I fall in love now

I hope this feel is just forever not sometimes

But I still doubt about myself

I still need time to know you

Coz I’m too afraid to falling in love again

Don’t want the last happen again

With you I want to open the new day

Full of peace, full of love, full of care and full of all that I need

Thanks for loving me and take care off me

i just can't remember what did my condition when i wrote this poetry..but i think this was right..sometime you feel sad and sometimes you can feel happy again..This is life..Life is never flat just enjoy it..

Starting over again..

16 August 2011 @ 5.01 PM

okay..lets start it over again..

after so many blog that i've made it but i always forgot the username and password even the title i can't remind it.. --"

and now, i'm ready to start again with write in the notepad about the title, user name and also password for this blog..

and now i'd like to introduce you little things about my self. I live in Indonesia, thats why i wanna apologize if my english is not good enough, but i try my best. For now i'm still at college finish my degree for about half year again. And while i have free time i wanna get used to write here about what happen yesterday, today, and tomorrow..

and why i give the title "yesterday today tomorrow", because i'd like to write what happen in the past, nowadays and my oppinion about future..

being in this life is based on that 3 subject..

we learn from the past to life nowadays and for bright future.. :)

thank you for visiting my blog and read it..

so..lets start over againn.. (: